Divorce’s Impact on Preschool, School-age, and Adolescent Children
Introduction
Preschool, school-age, and adolescence children from divorced families experience more externalizing problems, such as delinquency, behavior disorders, and impulsive conduct than children from two-parent families. In reference to attachment theory, divorce upsets and threats the socioemotional development and wellbeing of children (McLeod, 2017). Kids have a deep and enduring connection with their parents; and attachment in children is characterized by seeking proximity to their parents when threatened or upset. In parents, attachment behavior includes the sensitive and appropriate response to the child’s needs and wellbeing. In this essay, the socioemotional response of adults and adolescents regarding divorce and customary arrangements will be discussed.
Steps of Minimizing the Number of Divorces
According to (Cavanagh & Huston, 2008), divorced adults are more likely to become impoverished. On the other hand, children of divorce experience social, emotional, and economic stress which hinders their social development. This calls for prompt socioemotional response by adults and adolescents to minimize the rate of divorce in the society. Steps that can be taken to reduce the divorce rates include:
Effective communication: The main reasons for divorce include poor communication, intimacy issues, incompatibility feelings, financial strain, build-up resentment, and inability to forgive (Amato, 2010). Married adults should stop speaking negatively and condescendingly to their spouses. Adults should ensure that their language and tone is positive and helpful, and endeavor to go into every conversation to listen, understand, and help each other.
Accountability: In marriage, every partner should hold themselves accountable. Without accountability in terms of incomes, budgets, and financial expectations; divorce follows. According to (Kalmijn, 2015), most marriages end due to financial disagreements. Spouses should become honest, self-accountable, and cooperating with each other to end financial disagreements.
Honor and respect to partners: Most divorces are caused by infidelity and intimacy related issues. Married adults should be faithful to each other and also respect their partners no matter their sexual incapability (Cavanagh & Huston, 2008). Adults need to be understanding and able to forgive each other, but this is only possible when respect prevails.
Steps to Help Children Cope with Parent’s Divorce
Sustaining a loving relationship between parents and children is everyone’s desire. According to the attachment theory, parent-child relationship influences subsequent development (McLeod, 2017). Under this theory, children of divorced families are socioemotionally disturbed and thus proper care is deserved to help them cope when their parents’ divorce. Strong steps of helping kids cope effectively with their parents’ divorce include:
Telling children the truth about the divorce: Children have the right to be informed the reasons why parents are divorcing. Both parents should explain the divorce in a simple straightforward manner (Amato, 2010). For example, Dad and Mom fight every day and it makes us unhappy. We have chosen to stay in separate houses. We all love you.
Give reassurance, love, and support: Children should be assured that their parents will be involved fully in their lives (Kalmijn, 2015). For example, kids spending the holidays with their father or going to visit their father over the weekend and spending other times with their mother. In this way, children will remain jovial and free from depression, stress, and anxiety of divorce.
Avoid blaming your spouse in their midst: Divorced parents should minimize the disruptions to kids day to day activities by keeping visible conflict and heated discussions away from the children (Amato, 2010). They should present a united front, show restraint, and plan their conversations in a manner that their kids do not realize their differences.
How Professional Counselor can Provide Support for Involved Parties
In divorce therapy, the entire family, or the divorced spouses, or children of divorce seek counseling. In divorce therapy, a professional counselor understands and uses the three theoretical approaches of attachment theory; psychoanalytic, social learning, and ethological approach of attachment (McLeod, 2017). Childhood-parent attachment styles are based on their emotional connection and bondage since birth.
In divorce therapy, a professional counselor applies various techniques to offer support for involved parties, and some of these techniques include primal therapy, the empty chair approach and effective listening (Amato, 2010). Most victims of divorce are upset, depressed, stressed, and full of fear and anxiety. Primal therapy enables a counselor access the involved parties’ memories so that the party can return to a point in their life that is causing them anger, conflict, and disappointment. In this way, the client releases the pent-up emotion and trauma enabling him or her handle the divorce with a clear and balanced mind (Cavanagh & Huston, 2008). Under the empty chair and effective listening approaches, the involved parties express their feelings and the counselor derives a mechanism to help them deal with them positively.
Again, a professional counselor provides psychotherapy to the divorcing client and even to the children of divorce. Still, the counselor acts as a divorce coach especially for collaborative divorce instances. Under psychotherapy care, a counselor examines the past and its effects on the present functioning of an individual (McLeod, 2017). In psychotherapy, the professional counselor provides symptom relief in terms of depression, anxiety, and psychosomatic symptoms. Under divorce coaching, the couple mutually agrees to have legal divorce. However, they are incapable of surviving socioemotionally and financially on their own, this calls for divorce coaching.
Ethical and Cultural Strategies for Promoting Resilience, Optimum Development, and Wellness in Adolescence
In reference to the CACREP Standard 2.F.3.i, there are ethical and cultural strategies for promoting resilience, optimum development, and wellbeing across the lifespan. In the adolescence context, divorce increases the risks for socioemotional and adaptation problems across their lifespan (Kalmijn, 2015). Culturally, there are mother-child relationships characterized by supportiveness, positive communication, warmth, effective problem solving, and low rates of conflict and negativity which promote optimal development, resilience, and wellness across their lifespan. These strategies are associated with lower mental health issues and positive adaptation outcomes to the adolescent children following divorce.
Also, maternal and paternal discipline that is appropriate and consistent, rather than punitive, facilitates adolescent’s post-divorce development and adjustment. High quality parenting mitigates the adverse effect of divorce related stressors to the adolescent people, and this promotes their wellbeing and optimum development (Cavanagh & Huston, 2008). High levels of acceptance by parents and administration of consistent discipline are ethical towards their optimal development. Additionally, responsive parenting also amounts to resilience promotion. Moreover, providing opportunities for career development, teaching coping strategies and skills, and exposure to positive environment steers adolescent’s resilience, optimum development, and wellbeing.
Conclusion
In conclusion, effective communication, accountability, and respect between spouses helps reduce the number of divorces. Telling children the truth surrounding a divorce, giving support and love reassurance after divorce, and avoiding blames or conflicts in the midst of children helps kids cope more effectively to a divorce. Professional counselors act as divorce coaches, provide psychotherapy counseling, and strikes a reasonable balance to the parties involved in a divorce to help prevent negative consequences of divorce upon the victims. Last, both parents must collaborate together to ensure optimal development, resilience, and wellness of their children across their lifespan through positive communication, high quality and responsible parenting, and administration of consistent discipline among many other ethical and cultural approaches.
References
- Amato, P. R. (2010). Research on divorce: Continuing trends and new developments. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 650-666.
- Cavanagh, S. E., & Huston, A. C. (2008). The timing of family instability and children’s social development. Journal of Marriage and Family, 70(5), 125-127.
- Kalmijn, M. (2015). How Childhood circumstances moderate the long‐term impact of divorce on father–child relationships. Journal of Marriage and Family, 77(4), 921-938.
- McLeod, S. (2017). Attachment Theory. Simply Psychology, 5-12.