Shifting Perspectives: The Pillow Method

Shifting Perspectives: The Pillow Method

Select a disagreement that may be affecting a relationship at home or work. Record enough background information for an outsider to understand the issue. Who is involved? How long has the disagreement been going on? What are the basic issues involved? Describe the issue from each of the four positions listed below. Record your conclusions at the end of the exercise.

Background Information

Position 1: Explain how you are right and the other person is wrong.

Position 2: Explain how the other person’s position is correct, or at least understandable.

Position 3: Show that there are both correct (or understandable) and mistaken (or unreasonable) parts of both positions.

Position 4: Describe at least two ways in which the elements developed in positions 1-3 might affect your relationship. Describe at least one way in which the issue might be seen as more important than it was originally.

Conclusion: Explain how there is some truth in each of the preceding positions. Also explain how viewing the issue from each side has changed your perception of the issue and how it may change your behavior in the future. Explain how this issue and your understanding of it may affect your relationship.

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