Cause and Effect Essay: Divorce
Description
A popular stereotype is the troubled child from a broken home, and yet we have a divorce rate of over fifty per cent. Are all these children troubled? Do children from intact homes automatically fare better? Based on the research you collect, argue what you think are the effects of divorce on the futures of the children involved.
Requirements
- 1500 words
- double-spaced
- 12 pt. font
- submit in PDF format to Dropbox on our class website
Causes and Effects of Divorce on Children
In the society, there is a significant increase in the number of divorces. The divorces affect the well-being of the children up to their adult life. Separation causes radical changes to the future of the children leading to detrimental effects. The divorce between married couples occurs due to unbearable circumstances when they believe that it is the only solution to their challenges. The paper explores the significant causes of divorce and the effects of divorce on children.
Causes of divorce
Infidelity
Infidelity id the primary cause of divorces in the world. Couples with extra-marital affairs result in the breakdown of many marriages (Habibi, Hajiheydari & Darharaj, 2014). Infidelity usually starts as an emotional affair but finally leads to a physical relationship. When one of the partners realizes that his or her opposite partner has an extra-marital with another person due to marriage cheating, he or she can ask for divorce since the other party has committed adultery. Infidelity makes the affected party feel like betrayed by the other party in marriage and this forces one to demand divorce as infidelity may lead to other problems in the marriage like one may acquire sexually transmitted infections from outside and pass it to the other partner. Therefore, the affected party seeks for divorce instead of continuing with the relationship which may lead to the destruction of the whole family.
Lack of communication
Communication is fundamental in marriage. The married partners have to communicate effectively to discuss the matters that are affecting their relationship. Lack of communication between married couples when making family decisions may lead to the frustration to the other party which may lead to adverse outcomes in their relationship. Besides, good communication is the basis of a good marriage. Shouting to one another in the union, making bad comments about one’s partner, and not taking time to talk to each other is unhealthy to marriages and it may result in divorce. The family members should communicate with each other on the mistakes that do arise and forgive each other, and it will save a relationship from a breakup.
Constant arguing
Continuous arguing in marriage may lead to divorce. Some family members to argue over the same argument most of the time. The debate may result when one of the parties feels that he or she is not appreciated for his efforts in the well-being of the family. Some of the partners find it difficult for them to accept the views of the other partner leading to constant arguments in the family without an amicable solution. The endless cases finally lead to divorce.
Lack of intimacy in a relationship
Some marriages find themselves in the intimacy situation whereby some partners feel that they have no connection with the opposite partner (Habibi, Hajiheydari & Darharaj, 2014). The affected partner feels like he or she is staying with a stranger rather than a spouse. The lack of emotional and physical intimacy may not necessarily be about sex. A party which gives the other the cold shoulder can become a satisfying ground to demand for a divorce. Therefore, both spouses in marriage should take equal responsibility of ensuring that they treat each other with intimacy and they should practice appreciation, kindness, and physical affection always so that they can strengthen their relationship.
High expectations
The spouses may divorce when their expectations in marriage are not met. Both men and women do make assumptions about unions and the expectations of their marriages based on the challenges and the variables which may arise when their marriage does not meet the expectations. When one party does not obey the promises that he or she made before the wedding may contribute to divorce as the other partner may feel like betrayed and this may lead to loss of confidence towards the other partner.
Laziness
Laziness in a relationship can contribute to divorce. All the married parties should contribute and put efforts to cater to their families as a wife and husband. One partner may be lazy and what more from the opposite partner which may result to blame rather than taking responsibility to ensure that the marriage is successful. People become lazy to explore themselves and learn the best relationship skills to strengthen their marriage. Therefore, marriage is a hard institution, and both parties should be committed in their relationship since laziness may lead to breaking up in marriage.
Neglecting of the family responsibilities
Some of the partners may forget their family roles. Most parents forget that they are a couple and have to provide for their families. Parents may focus on their issues rather than ensuring parenting to their children making the children grow without adequate care from their parents. When one partner neglect in his or her family roles and leaves the other with a burden of performing all responsibilities, he or she can use this as a reason for divorce. Therefore, non-commitment to family responsibilities can lead to divorce.
Effects of divorce
The divorce of parents affects the members of the family in various ways, both negative and positive. Most of the children to experience a lot of challenges after the divorce of their parents and it becomes difficult for them to maintain relationships in the future after they cope from the separation of their parents while some may experience a healthy post-divorce relationship. Children who are brought up in divorced families have negative attitudes towards marriage and a positive attitude towards divorce. The negative attitude towards marriage among the children results to decrease in commitment to relationships leading to low-quality relationships. The following are the significant effects of divorce on children;
Trust in relationships
The separation of parents creates a low trust among their children in their future relationships (Al Gharaibeh, 2015). The young adults experience the effects of divorce of their parents before they form their bonds. It becomes difficult for the children to have a romantic dating when they reach their adulthood for fear that they may up in divorcing as their parents did. The children, therefore, do not see the need of marrying or being in any form of relationship as they believe that the absence of trust and infidelity beset relations and they have a feeling that one should approach a relationship with caution. The children of divorced parents are anxious about their dating in the future. The children usually focus mostly on relationships which fail with a mind that they will also have a similar experience. Therefore, the children fear to engage in relationships for fear of divorce.
Hesitancy in marrying
People who grow in families which divorce regularly have a negative attitude towards relationships, and they hesitate to marry. The male children whose parents divorced show more reluctance than males from stable families who are brought up by both parents. On the side, women from divorced families do not have faith in their spouses as they believe that they may be unfaithful to them and thus they have less commitment to their relationships.
Children lose time with their parents
The divorce of parents affect the children negatively (Gonzalez & Viitanen, 2013). The children do not have access to all their parents when they separate and leave the children with one parent. Children spend most of their time under the custodian of one parent, and they have less time with their overall parents. Children have little time with their fathers and also their mothers as they may consume much of their time in working so that they may cater for her family. Therefore, the children do not have parental love from both parents. Lack of time with their parents may make the children join evil companies which may affect their future lives.
Lose of economic security
The children may lose financial security when their parent divorce. If the children are left in the custodian of a single parent who is not financially stable to cater to the needs of the children, they face financial challenges. Children who live with single mothers have high chances of languishing in poverty as compared to children who are brought up by both parents. Most of the women do not have agreements on the support of their children, and when they divorce, it becomes a big challenge for them to care for their children economically. Therefore, divorce affects the children negatively as they will not access all their requirements.
The decrease in the psychological and social maturation
Children whose parents divorced tend to be more violent and verbally aggressive to their partners when they are resolving conflicts (Alba-Fisch, 2016). The children imitate their parents on the way they resolve disputes. Besides, the children have a low score on how they relate socially with other children. Lastly, the depression and anxiety of the children may worsen after the occurrence of the divorce which affects the health conditions of the children.
Loss of academic and cognitive stimulation
After the divorce of the parents, the children may suffer academically. The children may stay at home due to lack of financial resources. The average points of their grades are more likely to drop unlike for the children who are brought up by both parents. Also, children living with a single parent spend most of their days out of schools to look after their young ones or to assist the parent, and this affects their academics negatively forcing them to drop or repeat in a year.
From the above discussion, it is evident that divorce between parents affects their children negatively. Divorce affects the physical, psychological maturation, economic security, and love from both parents. The adverse effects of divorce can be prevented because they result from the causes which are in the control of the parents. Therefore, parents should ensure that they solve the challenges which they may face instead of divorcing as it affects their children.
References
- Al Gharaibeh, F. (2015). The Effects of Divorce on Children: Mothers’ Perspectives in UAE. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 56(5), 347-368.
- Alba-Fisch, M. (2016). Collaborative Divorce: An Effort to Reduce the Damage of Divorce. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 72(5), 444-457.
- Gonzalez, L., & Viitanen, T. (2013). The long term effects of legalizing divorce on children. [Dunedin, N.Z.]: [School of Business, University of Otago].
- Habibi, M., Hajiheydari, Z., & Darharaj, M. (2014). Causes of Divorce in the Marriage Phase from the Viewpoint of Couples Referred to Iran’s Family Courts. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 56(1), 43-